Dear RODi; I Apologize...

I'm not really sure why this has been on my mind all day. But its important for me to address it, in the hope that I can clear my conscience.

I don't just say that I think of you everyday, I REALLY do. You have a picture up almost everywhere in my house. Also, the locket Melinda got me the 1st Christmas you weren't with us, is almost always around my neck.

Out of nowhere, today, I began to think about the night we were all @ the State Fair in 2007, just less than a month before you were taken away from us.

In particular I remember that everything was going fine, until we ran into what I will refer to as 'The Mess'. An encounter Melinda && I had w/ 'it'.

I remember how upset you were after the 'encounter', I remember Yvonne && I lightly teasing about why you were upset. You told us nothing was wrong, you were lying; you wouldn't tell us.

The next time I saw you, which I wanna say was @ Yvonne's house, but it might have been my parents house. You apologized to me. You said You were sorry for acting like that after Melinda && I spoke to 'it'... I wasn't even trippin; I was never mad or upset at you, I told you no need to apologize, that it was all good.

I feel horrible about that whole incident...'The Mess'... I should have never spoke a word to someone you didn't like, right in front of you no less. I am sooo sorry Rodi. That was so wrong and I wish I could take it back. I know why you were so upset now b/c I would have been pissed if the situation was reversed.

I don't regret things and/or situations in my life, I also try not to say I would do things different because in actuality who knows if doing things different would have made things better...? But this I know I will ALWAYS regret && wish I did differently.

FAMiLY 1st. I should have never acknowledged 'it' and there would have never been an encounter with 'it'.

So, Rodi, from the bottom of my heart... I am sorry. Lesson Learned. Love you bro!

xoxo espo