kn0wing

I honestly didn’t expect to be this upset about how horribly you have affected me with your poor choice of actions.
It consumes me day and night. I haven’t been able to go to sleep, let alone get through the day thinking about how nonchalant you’ve been about that weekend. Not so much the fact that you have total BETRAYED me but also the fact that you are completely oblivious to it.

How could you not know that you're actions would have this effect? How could you be so careless to my feelings? It’s almost like you don’t care. I keep trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. But it’s not enough, YOU SHOULD have already known. I shouldn’t have to give you a detailed account of how inconsiderate you’ve been...YOU should ALREADY know. No matter how much I make excuses for you, it’s NOT ok. I expected so much more from you then this. I'm so confused. I don’t want to believe that you could be so careless with my feelings. I refuse to believe that you didn’t know what you were doing.

Maybe you have you're reasons, but I wonder what they could have been. You've hurt me worse than I could ever believe you were capable of.
I think that what hurts me the most is the fact that I thought we had a bond that couldn’t be penetrated.

I don’t want to be angry @ you, I love you so much. But I feel as if you hurt me more than anyone else could have. It’s like a break up but 1000x worse.
I feel totally different about you and I wish I didn’t.

I’m hurt on so many different levels.

I wish I didn’t care. But I’m effected everyday because I can’t help but think about it.

Not so much what happen, I mean thats what brought us to this point, but I just can’t believe you would choose 'that' over me.

I feel completely BETRAYED and DISRESPECTED. It hurts me tremendously because I thought you & I, (family), were closer than that.

I’ll get over it. My heart will mend. I’ll be 1000x’s more careful and smart about who I let close to me and those I love. I can’t say that I’ll be the same ol’ Shelly… because, honestly, I’m like FUCK EVERYONE now. (If I can’t count on those closest to me, who can I trust… or count on?)

If I had been there, that interaction probably wouldn’t have happened. So it hurts a lot knowing that I couldn’t have been respected even though I wasn’t there.
I would never give anybody that was talking shit about you or disrespecting you, the time of day. I would have been like, "get the fuck outta here!"

It wasn’t ‘hear say’, I saw the shit talking that was going on about me n other family.

Ughghghgh! It pisses me off to think I even have to explain myself or the situation.
I WISH I DIDNT GIVE A SHIT.

I’m pissed...I’m hurt... I’m not sure I have it in my heart to forgive.
I love you to death… Shit is just way different now and, honestly, I wish it wasn’t.